Random thoughts while waiting for the brats to brown and the keg to chill:

 

• Welcome to the “season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,” as Keats put it.

 

• Welcome to October.

 

• TV needs more funny.

 

• TV needs more heart.

 

• “Don’t you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils.” – Tom Hanks in “You’ve Got Mail.”

 

• Health update: My love for college football has just been upgraded to “serious.”

 

• Doctor: “Take two brats and call me in the morning.”

 

• The only dog breed capable of sarcasm: Siberian huskies.

 

• And you know who’s super sardonic? French poodles.

 

• “People forget years and remember moments.” –Ann Beattie

 

• Note: If you’re raising a family, you’re raising the future.

 

• Quick question: Has any hit show bottomed out as quickly as “Ted Lasso?”

 

• “The Bear” has crashed too.

 

• Makes you appreciate “Cheers,” doesn’t it?

 

• “I’m on top of the world … it’s a dismal spot in Greenland somewhere.” – Norm Peterson

 

• Oddest county fair food: Indiana’s hot beef sundae.

 

• Runner-up: Wisconsin’s Elvis on a Stick.

 

• Remember when there was a sitcom about a talking horse?

 

• Remember when a TV housewife was actually a witch?

 

• “I don’t know. I have an aunt who thinks she’s a lighthouse. Whenever it rains she insists on climbing up on the garage roof to warn the sailors.” – Darrin Stevens on “Bewitched,” trying to brush aside the news that his new wife is a witch

 

• My first crush: Wilma Flintstone.

 

• To me, Dodger Stadium sunsets are like jewelry.

 

• Meanwhile, Dave Roberts is becoming the most-beloved sports figure since Vin Scully.

 

• In L.A., legends are jewelry too.

 

• Overheard: “If you want a foldable device, buy a book.”

 

•  I really dig Burbank.

 

• And Larchmont Village still speaks to me.

 

•  If I lived in Hancock Park, I’d breakfast at the Original Farmers Market every morning.

 

• Definition of “drop-dead gorgeous”: the Rose Bowl’s new Field Club.

 

• UCLA tailback Wayne Knight has Heisman-caliber hops.

 

• Recently on the market in Pasadena: Batman’s TV mansion, listed at $32 million. Ka-POWWWWWWW!

 

• “Alfred, please patch me through to the Commissioner.” – Batman.

 

• Simple walks appeal to me more and more.

 

•  Yet, so does keeping Gotham safe.

 

• Confession: I just had a fling with a nice bowl of chili.

 

•  “You better live every day like your last. Because one day you’re going to be right.” – Ray Charles

 

• Alfred, where are you?

 

•  Definition of “separation anxiety”: the way dogs follow us into the loo.

 

• I prefer “songs from the era before songwriters took drugs to make themselves stupid and ambiguity became the sign of artistic ambition.” – Garrison Keillor

 

• Brutal. But I know what you mean, GK.

 

• Top five marching bands (my rank

ing): 1. Ohio State; 2. Jackson State; 3. Notre Dame; 4. Purdue; 5. USC.

 

• Bottom five: 1. Rice; 2. Oregon, 3; Colgate, 4; UCLA, 5; Yale.

 

• Still, a big shoutout to all the kids who put in the time.

 

• Why can’t NFL teams stick with one basic uniform?

 

• Why can’t they all play outside, instead of domes?

 

• “People don’t live in New Orleans because it is easy. They live here because they are incapable of living anywhere else in just the same way.” – Ian McNulty

 

•  Same for Los Angeles.

 

• Trivia time: What is a “Goldilocks temperature?”

 

•  “It was a year without seasons; it was a year without punctuation.” – poet Donald Hall, after the death of his wife, Jane Kenyon

 

• FYI, I prefer Santa Monica at low tide (when there’s more of it).

 

• Coolest animals in the world: bobcats.

 

• “Hope is easy; faith is tough.” – reader Joe Paggi

 

• Inflation hack: Don’t buy a new $18 AC filter. Just shop-vac your old one.

 

• Only in L.A.: The new Lucas museum reportedly wants to be “inclusive,” so it’s offering simple fare such as club sandwiches and mozzarella sticks.

 

• Price of a burger: $38.

 

• Price of admission: $25.

 

• “If you want to grow the game, grow it in the United States.” – Jon Gruden

 

• Amen, brother.

 

•  Trivia answer: A so-called “Goldilocks temperature” is neither too hot nor too cold, often found in fall and hovering around 65 degrees.

 

•  My sisters are still two of the best people I know.

 

• My daughters rock too.

 

•  The granddaughters? Tough to be objective. But they’re magic.

 

•  More on the way?

 

• “I stepped out of Mississippi when I was 10 years old, with a suit cut sharp as a razor and a heart made of gold.” –B.B. King

 

•  Dogs are family.

 

• Dogs are kindness.

 

• Dogs are gold.