Pssssst, in case you haven’t heard, The Getty is great for dinner. (photo by Chris Erskine)

Random thoughts, while deep in the forest of another great American fall:

• Autumn lifts me like cognac.
• All moons are supermoons.
• Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
• L.A. is its own theater of the absurd.
• In a perfect world, Quentin Tarantino would be mayor.
• How much worse could he do?
• People I miss: Mary Tyler Moore, as lovely as her name.
• To me, life is the best self-help book.
• Is pumpkin spice really a spice?
• Honestly, I’d rather drink confetti.
• In October, America seems painted in football games.
• Want to make a quick fortune? Start a Taylor Swift cover band.
• For the record, I don’t like anyone who says: “Capiche.”
• Prediction: A Taylor Swift-Travis Kelce engagement by Christmas.
• Not that it will last. But why not try?
• My new mantra: “Why not try?”
• My old mantra: “Everything in moderation.”
• How boring, right?
• Best bar in America: Big Dean’s, on the sand in Santa Monica.
• First runner-up: Far Bar in Little Tokyo.
• Second runner-up: My sister Holly’s basement.
• Capiche?
• FYI, the bar at Musso & Frank also gives me the warm-and-fuzzies.
• “Hitting against him is like eating soup with a fork.” (Willie Stargell on Sandy Koufax)
• L.A.’s best-kept secret: The Getty for dinner on a Saturday night.
• Tip: Book it during a full moon.
• In fall, college campuses are the honey-nugget chicken biscuits of American life.
• Just to be clear: I don’t believe in boneless wings or waterless urinals.
• Or pumpkin spice (obviously).
• Of all the fairy-tale celebrity lives, Blake Lively’s seems the finest.
• But you never know, do you?
• You gotta laugh at corporate America, so feckless yet bold, their hands in our pockets, smiling.
• Vote!!!
• October birthdays: Paul Simon, 83; Sting, 73; Snoop Dog, 53; Winona Ryder, 53.
• Whatever happened to quiet little bistros where you could talk a little?
• Dear Langer’s. If you close, I’m leaving Los Angeles.
• Same for Taylor’s Steakhouse.
• Same for DuPar’s.
• LAX should open its iconic Theme Building in time for the Olympics.
• Poor Sean McVay. He deserves better.
• Meanwhile, the Dodgers are very lucky to have Dave Roberts, the classiest guy in sports.
• Don’t miss “Carved,” the incredible Halloween show at Descanso Gardens, nightly through Oct. 30.
• Sign of the times: Athletes and coaches dropping f-bombs on live TV.
• Kris Kristofferson’s voice, a critic once said, had the “grit and softness of ancient stone, worn smooth by time.”
• Amen to that.
• Amen to good men in general and all the devoted coaches – high school to pro.
• I don’t get God sometimes. But I’ll keep trying.
• Everyone’s dealing with something.
• Best advice: Don’t worry about the problem – until there’s a problem.
• Question: Shouldn’t the word umlaut have an umlaut?
• “When will the rhetorical questions end?” (George Carlin)
• FYI, you can find solitude in Los Angeles. You just have to drive two hours.
• Teslas are the iPhones of the automotive world.
• If AI can help fight cybercrime, I’m all for it.
• Because I’m one data breach away from cutting up my credit cards.
• Billie Eilish doesn’t sing, she mews.
• But I like her stuff anyway.
• Sequel I’d be sure to see: “Three Men and a Grandbaby.”
• Looking for a fireplace book? Check out “Ordinary People,” the novel that birthed the movie, for which Mary Tyler Moore was nominated for an Oscar.
• In many ways, that movie is director Robert Redford’s greatest work.
• Trivia time: Where was Redford born?
• Amazingly, “Ordinary People” was Judith Guest’s first book.
• And perhaps the best debut novel since Tolkien’s “The Hobbit.”
• Whatever happened to Spuds MacKenzie?
• Whatever happened to funny beer commercials?
• Things I miss: Uncle Joe Benson on the radio.
• What I also miss: Al Michaels on “Sunday Night Football.”
• Trivia answer: Redford was born in Santa Monica.
• Trivia addendum: His teammate at Van Nuys High School? Don Drysdale.
• A bourbon a day keeps the cardiologist away.
• Trust me, it worked for my mom.
• Spuds MacKenzie for President!
• How much worse could he be?
• Gummy Bears should make a soda.
• Ricola should make a tea.
• Someone should start a chain of sports bars called “The Tailgater?”
• FYI, I’m already in line.
• Jazz pianist Bill Evans affirms my belief in God.
• So do newborns.
• So does autumn.
• “The cure for a fallacious argument is a better argument, not the suppression of ideas.” (Carl Sagan)
• Amen. Amen. Amen.

For past columns, and books, please go to ChrisErskineLA.com. To schedule event appearances, email the columnist at Letters@ChrisErskineLA.com