Random thoughts, while watching gophers excavate my yard, which now has more holes than Augusta National:

 

• There should be a cologne that smells like spring training.

 

• There should be a perfume called Opening Day.

 

• If our cars worked like our Wi-Fi, we’d all be dead.

 

• Funniest father in America? Shaq, who tells his kids: “We ain’t rich. I’m rich.”

 

• Wine flies when you’re having fun.

 

• Winter air smells like it’s just been born.

 

• The louder the movie, the worse the movie.

 

• If I ever opened a butcher shop, it’d be called “Meat Cute.”

• There should be a breakfast cereal made of Thin Mints.

 

• Most-mystifying double-reverse: Marie Kondo deciding that clutter is actually OK.

 

• Best thing a wealthy man can leave his children? His grit.

 

• In spring, “the Earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.” (writer Rainer Maria Rilke)

 

• When did sushi get so expensive?

 

• When did everything get so expensive?

 

• I know it’s popular, but to me boba tastes like dog slobber.

 

• I’ve missed a few days of church. But I’ve seen every single Super Bowl.

 

• Super Bowl trivia: How many halftime shows has Taylor Swift performed in?

 

• Best tacos in LA: Yuca’s, in Pasadena and Los Feliz.

 

• Best canyon: Temescal.

 

• The elegant old Pasadena Playhouse is a total treasure.

 

• So is Pasadena City Hall.

 

• So is Pasadena.

• L.A.’s greatest work of art: an icy martini at Musso & Frank.

 

• Another timeless pleasure: coffee and a local paper at the Fairfax Farmers Market.

 

• Need a cosmic boost? Check out the soothing and remarkable Griffith Observatory Planetarium.

 

• From Chinatown to the sea, Sunset Boulevard is L.Aa’s connective tissue.

 

• Still love my L.A. Times, but the Calendar section has become a joyless dud.

 

• For a well-edited summary of the news, try The Week, a magazine that smartly sums up current events.

 

• Good news of the day: Federal tax day in L.A. County has been pushed back to May 15, because of the impact of the earlier storms. No, really.

 

• If the Titanic hadn’t sunk, would Leonardo DiCaprio still be a big star?

 

• “Basically, I only play one character. I just play him at different volumes.” (the late Chris Farley)

 

• Birthday shoutouts this week to Matt Groening, 69, John McEnroe, 64, The Weeknd, 33, and Farley, who would be turning 59.

 

• After all these years, Bob Dylan still can’t sing.

 

• And Sunday’s Grammys sounded like a symphony of chainsaws.

 

• Driving onto a studio lot still gives me goosebumps.

 

• Best TV theme song of all time? “MASH”

Runner-up: “Taxi”

Second-runner up: “WKRP in Cincinnati”

Third runner up: “Hawaii Five-0.”

And the theme from “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” rounds out my top 5.

• “I’ve had a man and I’ve had a woman, and there’s got to be something better.” (actress Tallulah Bankhead, above)

 

• Yes, that was her real name.

 

• All food is comfort food.

 

• Whatever happened to broasted chicken?

 

• Everything tastes better with bacon or cheese.

 

• If I drove for Uber Eats, I’d have to sample everything.

 

• “The best cars are wasted on the worst drivers.” (former Times colleague David Lazarus)

 

• Bucketball’s least-used weapon: the bounce pass.

 

• Football fans treat Tom Brady like a disgraced Danish king. The level of dislike has always seemed out of proportion to his issues.

 

• Trivia answer: Swift has never performed at a Super Bowl halftime. Maybe when she’s more popular?

 

• I preferred “Hill Street Blues” to “The Sopranos.” Both great, Hill Street better.

 

• Funny Netflix show we just stumbled across: “Friends From College.”

 

• Onomatopoeia of the day: the digital chirp.

 

• FYI, I just might broast a chicken this weekend.

 

• Thank God for newspapers.

 

• Thank God for God and art and movies that move us.

 

• Seen any lately?

 

• “She turned to the sunlight

And shook her yellow head,

And whispered to her neighbor:

‘Winter is dead.’”

(A.A. Milne)

 

Email the columnist at Letters@ChrisErskineLA.com.