The alien hive prepares to attack Earth through a portal atop the Eiffel Tower. But the real threat to society is not a galactic ménage but a horde of hateful critics targeting a fun, albeit forgettable flick.

Agent M (Tessa Thompson) and Agent H (Chris Hemsworth) in “Men in Black: International.” (photo by Giles Keyte)

“Men in Black: International” doesn’t mark a new beginning for the 22-year-old film franchise based on the 1990 comic book series, but it’s hardly the disaster naysayers declare it.

A few background comments. The original “Men in Black” trilogy never quite took off. Relying mostly on banter between Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, the plotlines and visual aesthetic, somewhere between campy and slimy, failed to launch even one truly remarkable film. “MIB: International” is much of the same. Well-paced, kinda. Fun, kinda. Clever, kinda. But mostly something that promises a payoff yet to arrive.

What the fourth journey into the planet’s alien underground lacks in overall chemistry and general quirkiness, the reboot tries to compensate for with a plot-heavy approach built around a central mystery: alleged corruption in the British branch of the global agency tasked with protecting Earth from alien invasions. Alas, what transpires is entirely predictable, from obvious foreshadowing to a highly telegraphed twist.

At least Agent M (Tessa Thompson) and Agent H (Chris Hemsworth) are separately lovely people who previously shared incredible chemistry together (shout out to “Thor: Ragnarok”). Here, the potential for memorable screen moments exists, but never quite blossoms. Screenwriters Matt Holloway and Art Marcum (“Iron Man,” “Punisher: War Zone”) don’t provide enough for our stars to work with. That’s probably Michael Bay’s fault; their last project, “Transformers: The Last Knight,” might’ve broken them. Perhaps they need another try.

As for director F. Gary Gray (“Law Abiding Citizen,” “The Fate of the Furious”), he was on the rise following the success of “Straight Outta Compton.” His two films since tell a more uneven story. He can handle action sequences well enough, but he relies on formula far too much. And what this franchise needs is something new, something unpredictable.

Pawny (Kumail Nanjiani) on the shoulder of Agent M (Tessa Thompson) and with Agent H (Chris Hemsworth) in “Men in Black: International.” (photo courtesy of Sony Pictures)

In that criticism, other critics are right. Franchises should change. Only the Marvel Cinematic Universe can get away with telling the same story over and over, but even some of those flicks know when to switch things up. “MIB” remains trapped in homage, relying on a stockpile of chrome weaponry and the buddy-cop trope transported into a galactic setting.

But these films never leave the ground. Quite literally, the MIB agents can’t seem to venture off world. They never even build on the alien underground in more unique ways than secret gambling clubs and extraterrestrial crime lords (Rebecca Ferguson’s Riza).

Any excitement surrounding the casting of Emma Thompson as Agent O is tragically misplaced. She bookends the film, totaling maybe five minutes. The only unique contribution is Pawny (voiced by Kumail Nanjiani), a cute little samurai-like alien overflowing with snark. Really though, Nanjiani can’t star in enough films and televisions series, so this just allows Hollywood to keep hiring a stellar comedian, even if he only appears in a supporting role.

For all the derivative elements – and wow, there’s a lot – to call “MIB: International” entirely dull, boring or frustrating is hyperbole, the performative tactic of critics and cinephiles desperately attempting to retain their seats at the cool kids’ table. It’s watchable stuff and will likely prove beneficial fodder for cable networks come video release.

Thompson and Hemsworth still work together, even if they have no memorable dialogue. And the “MIB” world remains clearly defined through its approach to computer graphics and interweaving of human-alien culture, especially all those clever nods to historical mysteries and occasional “aha” moments of celebs who are actually little green people.

“MIB: International” goes down easy enough, but for this property to truly grow, it needs to do more. To start, how about an actually funny joke. At 114 minutes, not a single one-liner or physical gag prompts even a smile. More importantly, characters in this narrative universe need to embark on new adventures, not merely regurgitate the end of the world. Until then, expect the critic horde to come down especially and unnecessarily hard.