Could not authenticate you.followers
To simply discuss how terrible “Fantastic Four” is doesn’t quite cover it. After all, it’s difficult to imagine a film that makes this property’s previous on-screen attempts look good. Welcome to the world in which we live, where filmmakers can’t turn something this promising into at least a watchable film.
You might remember an obscure adaptation of Marvel’s most popular family back in the 1990s. You shouldn’t. Fox only created it to hold onto the rights to the characters. Thanks to some likely ex-employee, we can witness something that makes “Power Rangers” feel advanced. The only reason we even got this version is because Fox needed to move forward with a film project or let the rights revert to the new parent company, Disney.
Still, all the pieces where there for something truly fantastic: the right budget, a promising director, a solid cast and a studio responsible for another great Marvel project, “X-Men: Days of Future Past”, though I bet they want you to forget about “X-Men: The Last Stand”, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” and “The Wolverine”.
While I could rip apart this film scene by scene, I can sum its flaws up in five categories.
5. Exposition in place of origin
If you saw the trailer, you might have noticed the spark of something different. In place of a traditional supervillain, the classic superhero team would explore other dimensions. Something akin to “Inception” could appear. Nope. Instead, we’re treated to the usual dose of setup the characters and a big bad is thrown in for good measure.
But one traditional element is gone. The average origin film focuses on how the superhumans learn to use their powers. But immediately after a journey into another dimension goes awry, the story jumps forward a year. We don’t see Reed Richards (Miles Teller) learn how to stretch his body like elastic. The only action from Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell), who istransformed into a rock creature of Hulk proportions, occurs on military surveillance cameras in a secret base.
Johnny Storm (Michael B. Jordan) flames up a few times, but that’s about it. And Sue Storm (Kate Mara), arguably the strongest character of the bunch with powers of invisibility and the ability to create force fields, seems to play second fiddle to Reed.
Origin films are exhaustingly overdone, but this is not the answer.
4. Nothing going on
There is one action sequence in the entire film. In fact, the characters take more than half the film to even get their powers. It’s like a horror film that spends 45 minutes to establish anything remotely freaky. Costing north of $100 million, I’m speechless. Did all the money just go into marketing?
3. Unused potential
Despite poor reception and one of the poorest opening weekends for a Marvel Comics film ever, Fox seems to be moving forward with a sequel. I feel sorry for the actors stuck in a contract. By all accounts, the casting is inspired.
Fresh off “Whiplash” fame, Teller looks the part of Mr. Fantastic. Mara is an equally intriguing choice as the Invisible Woman. And since the studio claimed to be adapting the Ultimate Universe version of the characters — a darker retelling of various superhero characters in which the Fantastic Four is quite young — Bell looks the part as the Thing.
How could we not mention the casting of Jordan as the Human Torch — everyone else is during the press junket, including some of dumbest, most idiotic reporters. You haven’t experienced juvenile ramblings until you’ve read meme after meme from people ranting about how they’re not racist but don’t want a black Human Torch. Let’s be clear: that’s racist.
The cast had promise, but everything else in this mess failed them.
2. Wigs, makeup, effects
Remember Jessica Alba’s awful wig in the previous films? Apparently that tradition never dies. Mara rocks the most distracting blond wig. But that’s hardly the worst thing. We have the CGI for the Thing, who awkwardly never wears pants either. I imagine the filmmakers watched too much “Donald Duck” when they made that choice.
Then there’s the worst visual of the entire film: Dr. Doom (played by Toby Kebbell), who might be as underdeveloped as Donald Trumps’ views on women. Apparently the comic book character looks too hokey for the big screen. So they decided to make him look ever weirder. If you ever saw the first “G.I. Joe” film, you might remember how terrible Cobra Commander looked at the end of the film — like shockingly terrible. Doom made me nostalgic about yet another terrible film.
The storyline is incoherent and ends right when the third act is starting. Rumor has it the original cut by director Josh Trank was too dark, so the producers reshot the ending and cut 30 minutes from the middle. Anyone with a soul likely wants to see that other cut, because this one has all the markings of Hollywood trying to polish a turd.
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Leave a Reply