It might be time to call it quits on the “Despicable Me” series. It all started so well, but the sequel was less than incredible, and this “Minions” prequel that places all the Twinkie-shaped sidekicks center stage doesn’t recapture the magic of the characters.
I imagine all the pieces looked great on paper, but this one offers little that adults will enjoy while their children simply chuckle at the funny sounds.
The trailer covers it all. Minions have existed since the beginning of time, always in search of the biggest of the “big bads” out there to serve.
But after centuries of failure, the Minions take residence in solitude, purposeless and alone.
But one yellow hero, Kevin (Pierre Coffin, the voice of all the Minions), devises a plan. Accompanied by two companions, he will search the world for a master.
Arriving in 1970s America, Kevin, Stewart and Bob learn of Villain-Con, a convention where the top supervillains in the world highlight their antics and recruit fresh talent.
And only one big bad rises above the fold — Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock). At first, she seems wonderful, but when complications arise from their joint attempt to steal the queen’s crown, Scarlet and her gadget prodigy, Herb (Jon Hamm) turn on them.
The Minion’s antics in “Despicable Me” were hysterical. Kevin, Stewart and Bob’s visit to the grocery store, their gibberish language that was somehow recognizable, and all the others were so quotable.
Nothing here is worth reliving. At this point, I’m struggling not to associate such blandness with my original impression of this delightful world.
I don’t know what went wrong. These characters are so fun, but all the great moments are in the trailers. Every single one.
I just miss animated films that offered something for audiences of all ages. That used to be these films.
Meet our second sequel that doesn’t know how to repeat the magic. Seth MacFarlane’s “Ted” brought the best parts of “Family Guy” — his TV creation — to the big screen. “Ted 2”, not so much. It’s not “Hangover Part II” bad, it’s just blah and uneven.
All those lessons John (Mark Wahlberg) learned about balancing romance and bromance in the first film are gone.
No Mila Kunis here.
The story begins six months after John’s divorce.
But there’s still hope for love as everyone’s most crass teddy bear brought to life, Ted (voiced by MacFarlane), ties the knot with longtime love Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth).
But marriage is tough work for a loud-mouthed wife and an even louder-mouthed, drug-loving stuffed animal.
So why not have a kid to save the relationship? Too bad they can’t conceive a child naturally. Science hasn’t caught up with human-doll relations.
Adoption also isn’t an option because the state doesn’t recognize Ted as a human being with any rights. Quickly, Ted loses his job, credit and bank account because of his unique status. They only have one option, a lawsuit.
But John and Ted are broke, so they must rely on rookie attorney Sam L. Jackson (Amanda Seyfried) to prove Ted deserves the same rights as anyone else.
Sadly, it’s an uphill battle, as Ted creator Hasbro Toys wants them to fail for an ominous reason.
“Ted 2” is at its best with crass jokes and an abundance of weed references. Making comparisons between a talking bear and civil rights is just plain awkward.
MacFarlane’s “A Million Ways to Die in the West” was terrible, like Razzie Award-winning bad. Luckily, “Ted 2” never reaches such lows. It actually knocks out a few laugh-out-loud moments early on (you might cringe at a visit to a sperm bank), but as the plot thickens, the gags thin.
I’m nervous for MacFarlane. He’s one-for-three on the big screen, and frankly, “Family Guy” hasn’t evoked audible laughter in about four seasons.
For a guy with such a diverse background and so many creative ideas floating around his many projects, he relies on too many of the same gags.
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