Director Michael Bay has done it again. Taking the idiocy of “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” to a similar low, “Dark of the Moon” (that’s not a typo, this is probably his way of avoiding a Pink Floyd lawsuit) moves between bad jokes and visually complex action scenes that never feel satisfying.

Shia LaBeouf plays Sam Witwicky in the third installment of the “Transformers” story. (photo courtesy of Paramount Pictures)

I’m sure there’s a plotline in here, but it’s difficult to decipher. I think there are robots on the moon, then Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin (who makes a cameo appearance) find them at the end of the Space Race (toss in some awful CGI of JFK in the Oval Office). Jumping forward, the Autobots (the good robots from that far off planet, Cybertron) learn that the ship of their former leader, Sentinel Prime (voiced by Leonard Nimoy), is among the debris on the dark of the moon (oh, I get it…how clever). But Megatron (voiced by Hugo Weaving) and the Decepticons (the villainous robots) are hot on their trail, for Sentinel’s ship contains a device with the ability to relocate Cybertron to Earth, making humanity a slave workforce.

In the midst of impending doom, we’ve got our usual convoluted group of humans, struggling to remain relevant in a movie about robots. Even though Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) has helped save the world twice, he just can’t seem to land a job. Apparently “Autobots’ lackey” doesn’t effectively transfer to a resume.

After a falling out with the director, Megan Fox, as Mikaela, is replaced by Victoria’s Secret model, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, as Sam’s new gal pal, Carly, reminding us what’s required of women in a Bay film. It’s almost laughable how the camera enjoys lingering on Huntington-Whiteley’s body –– most blatantly during an asinine scene in which Sam and newbie, Dylan (Patrick Dempsey), discuss the beautiful structure of a luxury car, while the shot moves up the Victoria Secret model’s body. Shameless. Shameless. Shameless.

Also in the mix, we’ve got Lennox (Josh Duhamel), Simmons (John Turturro) and Epps (Tyrese Gibson) helping out on the military end, trying to take down the Decepticons with the latest high-tech weaponry. Some other new faces also stop by, like Jerry Wang (Ken Jeong), Dutch (Ken Tudyk) and Bruce Brazos (John Malkovich).

Optimus Prime is back in “Transformers” Dark of the Moon”. (photo courtesy of Paramount Pictures)

I really wanted to enjoy this film. I wanted to believe the second installment was an accident, not a sign of things to come. But there’s nothing redeeming about this pile of reel. The performances are flatter than week-old beer, and the dazzle of the special effects becomes obsolete juxtaposed to jumbled narrative transitions and action sequences that are equal parts confusing and snore inducing.

Even though Bay has so utterly lost his sense of cinematic wonder, we all can’t help but support his films (something I am equally guilty and ashamed of). It’s all just painful…so very painful.

More than forgetting the pain, I can’t help but continue to watch whatever Bay dishes out; I’m always amazed by how embarrassingly ludicrous they are. I treat the moviegoing experience here like an ethnographic observation, trying to understand a cultural icon I may never fully understand. But that gives Hollywood’s biggest dumb-dumb director far too much credit. His films have as much redeeming value as porn or reality TV; I’m sure you’ll find some supporters, but the arguments fall apart when you try to find an actual worthy example.

While watching “Transformers: Dark of the Moon”, I’m reminded of all the great stage tragedies. Just as Macbeth found himself going down a path that could only lead to his personal demise,

Bay also dives headstrong into the abyss, pridefully staying the course in the presence of failure. If he could only get off his high horse and ask for some narrative directions.

You want logic or cohesion, don’t bother. According to Bay, the popcorn flick offers only explosions, big toys and sexy dames. Anything else apparently expects too much from something that cost $195 million to make. “Harry Potter” is wrong, people don’t want story; they want explosions and juvenile humor that only encourages viewers to remain as illiterate as the movie assumes they are. That’s the Michael Bay way: loud, stupid and boring.